I’m not telling you to make the world better, because I don’t think that progress is necessarily part of the package. I’m just telling you to live in it. Not just to endure it, not just to suffer it, not just to pass through it, but to live in it. To look at it. To try to get the picture. To live recklessly. To take chances. To make your own work and take pride in it. To seize the moment. And if you ask me why you should bother to do that, I could tell you that the grave’s a fine and private place, but none I think do there embrace. Nor do they sing there, or write, or argue, or see the tidal bore on the Amazon, or touch their children. And that’s what there is to do and get it while you can and good luck at it.
It takes courage to do certain things in your life. To make the hard choices. To take risks. Courage got many of us where we are today. Being brave in your actions and decisions often means stepping away from familiar shores, saying goodbye to people you love and throwing yourself whole heartily into the unknown.
Courage enabled me to find photography. My saving grace. My heartbeat. The meaning in my life.
I’m feeling that I’m at the jumping off point. My degree is coming to an end and it’s time to move. To take charge of my career and move somewhere new and big and a little bit scary. Hawai’i is my heart and soul but for now I need to leave it. As of early next year, I plan on moving to New York and spending more time in LA. I feel really determined.
I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart. – ee cummings.
I will always treasure this shoot I did with Britney and Jaya Moon in Hanalei, Kaua’i. Two beautiful beings.
Life is but a sensory experience.
Everything is a whisper and an explosion all at once.
It’s all there. The big and the small.
It just depends on how well we are willing to listen.
I’m constantly learning and living and aching and growing,
and fighting to love this world despite all the odds.
“Anaïs, I don’t know how to tell you what I feel. I live in perpetual expectancy. You come and the time slips away in a dream. It is only when you go that I realize completely your presence. And then it is too late. You numb me. [...] This is a little drunken, Anaïs. I am saying to myself “here is the first woman with whom I can be absolutely sincere.” I remember your saying – “you could fool me, I wouldn’t know it.” When I walk along the boulevards and think of that. I can’t fool you – and yet I would like to. I mean that I can never be absolutely loyal – it’s not in me. I love women, or life, too much – which it is, I don’t know. But laugh, Anaïs, I love to hear you laugh. You are the only woman who has a sense of gaiety, a wise tolerance – no more, you seem to urge me to betray you. I love you for that. [...]
I don’t know what to expect of you, but it is something in the way of a miracle. I am going to demand everything of you – even the impossible, because you encourage it. You are really strong. I even like your deceit, your treachery.”
― Henry Miller, A Literate Passion: Letters of Anaïs Nin & Henry Miller, 1932-1953