finding my balance.

How do I comprehend all of the things that I have been reading, watching, listening to?! How do I fit it into the boxes that I have been given to fathom the world. Everything should fit into a societal box, right?! Well, we know this isn’t true, not in the slightest. But how do we deconstruct all that we have learned and build our own model of what is right? And I don’t mean the – “I better call my friend today and congratulate her because she just got a new job”- kind of right, I mean deep from your soul- intuitive- sense- kind of right. Sure, every person, culture, albeit demographic has a different set of moral sensibilities but this is about opening your eyes, lifting the gauze and really seeing what’s going on.

I am nowhere near perfect and I know that I didn’t need to tell you that for you to already have known but I’m trying really hard to change the way I have been doing things. How can I be a more sustainable human being in a non-sustainable society? How can I improve the life of fellow human beings? How can I open my eyes more and in turn open the eyes of others?

I think it takes all six senses, especially the sixth. Intuition, so often cast aside in a science driven society yet it’s so integral to survival. It is that gut feeling that calls from the depths of all truths that has the real information. Listen to that more. No matter how painful or annoying it can be.

Sure, it’s undoubtedly easy to forget that the earth is dying and it’s effortless to go about your day consuming, working, eating, sleeping, drinking, but I’m sorry, we can’t just live like that anymore. Something has to give, even if it takes time and even if it’s uncomfortable. Everything can become a habit if you make it that way, even cycling your way to cleaner clothes. Imagine a hybrid laundromat/spin class, that would totally be a hit with the mothers! Nothing is inconceivable if it can be done. Sure, it’s going to really suck at first to give up some creature comforts but in the long run it will be worth it. I’ve made some small steps toward this and I’ve been assessing the way I am reacting to these changes emotionally, mentally and physically and so far, so good. I’ve swapped shopping for writing, photography, swimming, training, reading, recycling, donating….and sometimes I find it hard because it’s what I used to do at least once a week but I’m much better off because of it.

There are things I see myself doing in the future; living on a small farm in Hawaii, possibly bearing children or not bearing children, growing vegetables, feeding chickens, making beautiful pictures, disseminating knowledge to my family and the world and loving my partner. Trying, in my own way to be a sustainable individual.

I think people find it hard to read things like this, they may even laugh at my idealism but seriously, a new world can be made and it doesn’t have to be as severe as you think. Essentially, I’m just trying to work this all out…just like you.

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